February 18, 2009

Take charge of your life: Put your fears in the backseat

Has it become a challenge for you to stay happy?

During the times that I am unhappy, I find it is because I am thinking too far ahead into the future which causes me to worry or feel anxious. This mental state focuses on the things or situations that I lack today. Living in the future amplifies the scarcity in my life which, of course, makes me sad. I want something other than what I have right now.

In some other cases, I find that I am unhappy or even miserable when I base my decisions on my fears. Insecurity and fear of being hurt can be powerful at times when it is not checked. Like most of you, my heart has been broken before. So when a new love enters my life, old memories of losing a love comes back quick. I have pushed people away and out of my life in the past in an attempt to protect myself. But in doing so, I shut the door to any possible happiness and fulfillment from being experienced. I say I want love but I'm too scared to let it in.

Is this familiar? Can you relate to this? -- Now let's take a look at what it takes to be happy.

Looking through my past, I find that during the happiest moments of my life, I was loving others and basing all my actions out of that love. My heart is open to giving and receiving love. There were no reservations or worries or what-ifs. There wasn't any long term planning involved. No guards are up to protect me from the unknown. Just a freedom to be my true self in the moment. These are the most fulfilling times.

For many people, fears or insecurities have become an autopilot mode effectively running our lives. When we sense that there is any risk of being hurt, without a second thought (subconsciously at times) we shut the doors to our hearts.

With time and complete honesty to yourself, you can learn to identify thoughts and actions based in your fears. The key is to catch yourself before you complete those fear based actions. Catch yourself, pause and breathe and let go of all fearful thoughts. This is not to say that the fears will dissappear all together. They do come back and each time they come up into your thoughts, practice letting it go again...and again.

You have the power to choose to live in fear or to live life.

1 comment:

  1. Hey Roomie,
    It seems serendipitous that you have written this post this week, for 2 reasons... 1) I was just asked, by a professor, to read Thich Nhat Hanh's Our Appointment with Life - which you MUST have read since it is so in-line and similar to this post. and 2)I am trying to stay focused on the present moment as I try to write my thesis, which is consuming my life right now, but seem to be consumed with fear and anxiety about the future, and also regret and guilt of the past, and how little work I feel I had gotten done... Thanks for re-focusing me to the present moment, it definitely does calm me down and make me happier :)
    Hope you're well too!!