January 20, 2009

Choosing a life you love and live it powerfully

This morning there was a situation that occurred where I had 3 emotions successively within a span of 1 minute! Yes, in a short minute, I felt panic first and then hurt which moved me right into anger. These particular reactionary emotions came up immediately because that is how I’ve felt in the past when similar situations were experienced. I mistakenly believed that this morning was a repeat of the past. After taking a breath and a step back away from my reactionary emotions, I consciously chose to think with reason and an objective perspective rather than allow my past life experiences to dictate my experience of today (see past blog post “Puppet to the past”). By exercising my ability to CHOOSE how I feel and to turn off my autopilot (ego), I was able to enjoy the rest of my morning instead of sulking and being upset for no good reason.

The amazing and beautiful thing about human beings is that we have the ability to choose. Let’s talk a little about the “Secret” again (website link) – it tells us that the law of attraction takes its cue from us. When we think positive thoughts or foster positive emotions, life will manifest situations or things that are similar in energy to our positive thoughts and feelings. If negative thoughts are housed in our minds or negative emotions held in our hearts, we can expect negative realities to exist in our lives that will cause us suffering. In other words, the law of attraction says life shall provide us with that which we choose through thought /belief and speech.

Now, I understand that we all have trouble staying positive all of the time. Day to day, we usually feel a full range of emotions, sometimes including disappointment, anger, frustration and insecurity among others. These are ‘reactionary emotions’ rather than emotions by choice. None of us would ever choose to feel angry or insecure consciously. These reactionary emotions that make us feel bad and yucky are usually based in ego because our idea of who we really are is in question. For example, you may consider yourself very intelligent but when another person raises a question about the factual basis of your comment (whether innocently without ego or intentionally with ego to prove you wrong); you will become defensive because your idea of self (ego) is under attack.

Given this rollercoaster of emotions day to day, the challenge becomes balancing our thoughts by continually and consciously thinking positively. Put a positive spin on things and don’t get “hooked” on the bad aspects of the situation. So to apply this to the above scenario, I would say that instead of taking it personally (you versus me = ego) you can choose to be neutral to the situation and state the fact from your earlier statement or be open minded to the possibility that you might be wrong. View this as an opportunity to either educate the other person or become educated yourself. This is the positive perspective you want to hold in this situation rather than making it a battle where you have to blindly defend who you think you are.

Once you get “hooked” on the negative side, it will be a downward spiral from there and you will live with suffering. By consciously CHOOSING to put a positive spin on life situations, you eradicate the ego and the reactionary emotions that can come with it. With this choosing to be happy, your energy level stays high and the law of attraction will provide you with new life situations that match that energy. Know that you always have a choice. Choose to let the bad and ego and embrace only love!

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January 16, 2009

The Payoff and Cost of the Ego

I've been wanting to write about my experiences with my ego but it's taken me a long while because I was afraid it would make me look bad/wrong -- which is complete protection of the ego. Obviously I am not perfect, only human. As I share thoughts on embracing only love, I myself have a hard time every now and again in practicing it.

Reading Eckhart Tolle's book "A New Earth" has helped me to identify the less distinguishable traits of my own ego. I have come to see how a lot of my day to day language is rooted in this. For example, I may share a story with someone about how a friend was wrong in her thinking or speaking last week. Sharing the facts of what happened is legitimate but to retell the story over and over again, emphasizing that my friend was wrong is ego because it silently makes me look and feel very right. Notice that there is a payoff for me and a cost to the friend that I am talking about.

It can certainly be ugly when you really look at the true intention behind your speech and actions.

While the following may make me look really bad (and hurt my ego -- my sense of who I am), I will share this with you because calling myself out may help me stop doing it. But it's also one way to eradicate the ego since I am consciously choosing to set it aside to communicate the truth and in so doing, help you see if any of this applies to you. There is a statement that I often blurt out and that is "white people are retarded". I have this stereotype that most (not all) white people are ignorant and not cultured so when a person says something or does something to prove my stereotype correct, it is my excuse to blurt out my favorite statement. This one statement made by my ego makes me look and feel better/smarter/more cultured than my white counterparts. It places me on a pedestal making my ego stronger while diminishing the people that I am talking about. A big payoff to me and at a cost to others.

The important fact to consider here is that the payoff to us is fleeting and the cost to others can be quite damaging in some cases. The fleeting nature of the payoff is the reason why we repeat our behavior -- so that our ego feels strong and gets bigger.

If you are upset by my statement of "white people are retarded" and cannot get past it to see my point about ego, then you are stuck in ego yourself. Think about it...

Ego prevents us from being objective. Ego makes it all about you versus me. This position does not allow us to receive and give love freely.

Embrace Only Love
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