January 16, 2009

The Payoff and Cost of the Ego

I've been wanting to write about my experiences with my ego but it's taken me a long while because I was afraid it would make me look bad/wrong -- which is complete protection of the ego. Obviously I am not perfect, only human. As I share thoughts on embracing only love, I myself have a hard time every now and again in practicing it.

Reading Eckhart Tolle's book "A New Earth" has helped me to identify the less distinguishable traits of my own ego. I have come to see how a lot of my day to day language is rooted in this. For example, I may share a story with someone about how a friend was wrong in her thinking or speaking last week. Sharing the facts of what happened is legitimate but to retell the story over and over again, emphasizing that my friend was wrong is ego because it silently makes me look and feel very right. Notice that there is a payoff for me and a cost to the friend that I am talking about.

It can certainly be ugly when you really look at the true intention behind your speech and actions.

While the following may make me look really bad (and hurt my ego -- my sense of who I am), I will share this with you because calling myself out may help me stop doing it. But it's also one way to eradicate the ego since I am consciously choosing to set it aside to communicate the truth and in so doing, help you see if any of this applies to you. There is a statement that I often blurt out and that is "white people are retarded". I have this stereotype that most (not all) white people are ignorant and not cultured so when a person says something or does something to prove my stereotype correct, it is my excuse to blurt out my favorite statement. This one statement made by my ego makes me look and feel better/smarter/more cultured than my white counterparts. It places me on a pedestal making my ego stronger while diminishing the people that I am talking about. A big payoff to me and at a cost to others.

The important fact to consider here is that the payoff to us is fleeting and the cost to others can be quite damaging in some cases. The fleeting nature of the payoff is the reason why we repeat our behavior -- so that our ego feels strong and gets bigger.

If you are upset by my statement of "white people are retarded" and cannot get past it to see my point about ego, then you are stuck in ego yourself. Think about it...

Ego prevents us from being objective. Ego makes it all about you versus me. This position does not allow us to receive and give love freely.

Embrace Only Love

1 comment:

  1. I am happy to come across your blog.
    Thank You for Being You