February 24, 2009

One Humanity, One God, One Life Experience

Sharing my journey into myself and my journey to embrace only love over the past four months has been a nerve racking experience at times. Two postings in particular had my heart beating in my throat as I cut and paste the link onto facebook to share the blog with my network of friends. But I push aside my ego -- afraid of looking bad or weak -- and I post my blog anyway in hopes of (1) a breakthrough for myself as I push through the uncomfortableness of un-peeling my layers of issues and (2) providing some guidance to readers that may be going through a similar life situation. In my sharing, I have received a good amount of positive feedback saying how my posting was meaningful to them and how they can relate. This makes me happy so I share this fact with a friend. Interestingly enough, my friend was surprised that so many people were able to relate to my writing.

My response was that there is one God, one humanity and one experience called Life.

In this shared experience called Life, we all want to be loved and want to love. Everyone is afraid of being hurt at some point. We all know what it's like to be scared of being alone. All human beings are victims to the ego and at some point have taken actions that have hurt someone else, knowingly or not knowingly. No one is immune from these experiences. The degree to which we experience them depends on how conscious of our spirit (who we really are) in relation to our ego (layers of issues that we have allowed to latch on to us). But these are all universal issues dealt with by all humans at some point in their lives.

Which brings me to another point, as human beings, we need to start seeing what connect us rather than what divides us. Because in truth, we are all the same. Some might say we are all children of God. Others might say we are all made up of the same atoms and molecules. Regardless of how you want to look at it, we are all connected and nothing can divide us -- no matter how many religions or how much racism man creates.

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February 23, 2009

Honesty as a step towards freedom

I finally see me for me.

Recently, I've come to realize that my jealousy and abandonment issues are rooted in insecurity. Many of you might think "duh -"....after all, logically and objectively, it makes perfect sense. But I had turned a blind eye to it when it came to me. For so many years, I blamed others for activating my jealousy and abandonment issues. I would expect others to be sensitive to my past and recurring emotional hurdles. The finger was always pointed outward and I never allowed myself to look at the issues as mine and only mine.

There's a big reason for why I never looked further inside of myself. For as long as I can remember, I have painted a picture of myself as this independent, strong, powerful survivor. This new revelation of deep seated insecurities completely shatter my self-image. My ego was certainly hurt. How can I be weak with insecurities? But in order move beyond my issues, I had to be completely honest with myself -- I had to acknowledge that I am insecure. There, I said it. I am ridiculously insecure in some situations. Sometimes even "scared to death" because of these insecurities. It's not an emotional place I ever want to be in. My thoughts, feelings and actions when I am in an insecure mood are never good and no one around me is better for it.

While I am not a therapist, I do know that acknowledging a problem is the first step. When you are completely honest with yourself about your fears and come to identify the pattern of actions that you take because of those fears, you may start to distinguish the moment in which your fear is about to become activated. In other words, you can train yourself to raise a red flag when you feel like your fears and insecurities are taking over the driver's seat. When the red flag goes up, take a deep deep breath. Become present in the moment, in the Now. Acknowledge the fear (don't resist it). Give yourself a hug in your mind. Then think, speak and act out of love and put fear back in the passenger seat.
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February 18, 2009

Take charge of your life: Put your fears in the backseat

Has it become a challenge for you to stay happy?

During the times that I am unhappy, I find it is because I am thinking too far ahead into the future which causes me to worry or feel anxious. This mental state focuses on the things or situations that I lack today. Living in the future amplifies the scarcity in my life which, of course, makes me sad. I want something other than what I have right now.

In some other cases, I find that I am unhappy or even miserable when I base my decisions on my fears. Insecurity and fear of being hurt can be powerful at times when it is not checked. Like most of you, my heart has been broken before. So when a new love enters my life, old memories of losing a love comes back quick. I have pushed people away and out of my life in the past in an attempt to protect myself. But in doing so, I shut the door to any possible happiness and fulfillment from being experienced. I say I want love but I'm too scared to let it in.

Is this familiar? Can you relate to this? -- Now let's take a look at what it takes to be happy.

Looking through my past, I find that during the happiest moments of my life, I was loving others and basing all my actions out of that love. My heart is open to giving and receiving love. There were no reservations or worries or what-ifs. There wasn't any long term planning involved. No guards are up to protect me from the unknown. Just a freedom to be my true self in the moment. These are the most fulfilling times.

For many people, fears or insecurities have become an autopilot mode effectively running our lives. When we sense that there is any risk of being hurt, without a second thought (subconsciously at times) we shut the doors to our hearts.

With time and complete honesty to yourself, you can learn to identify thoughts and actions based in your fears. The key is to catch yourself before you complete those fear based actions. Catch yourself, pause and breathe and let go of all fearful thoughts. This is not to say that the fears will dissappear all together. They do come back and each time they come up into your thoughts, practice letting it go again...and again.

You have the power to choose to live in fear or to live life.
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